it's another tough day

Sometimes life can creep up behind you and bite you... and that's  exactly how I feel today.

Yesterday I had an amazing day.

I passed on some beautiful and amazing angel messages to some wonderful and grateful clients. I received an email from another client who thanked me for the lovely and honest emails I write to her and all the lovely and special souls who receive my emails each week (you can be one of those special souls too, just click here). And I ended my 'working' day (it never feels like 'working') with a 1-1 training call with one of my amazing mentors.

But then, out of nowhere, at 5am this morning I woke with a start. I had been having a nightmare which was so unreal that even in the depths of sleep I should have known it wasn't possible. Yet when I woke up I spent a good few minutes trying to gather my thoughts, and grab onto reality and the knowledge it was just a bad dream... but it didn't just feel like a bad dream.

The anger, the shouting, the high-pitched out-of-this-world screeching that was in my dream was something beyond comprehension.

And the after-effect was one of vulnerability, fear and over-whelming emotion.

Without going into all the details, as this is not what I want to focus and dwell on, my work with my mentor yesterday unleased something in my subconscious that only came to the surface at 5am this morning. Yesterday I felt great. I knew we had done some energy clearing together but, at the time, everything seemed very matter-of-fact; it was something and then it was nothing. Done and dusted. So I had gone to bed feeling content and happy.

Until 5am.

Clearly my intelligent subconscious realised that the work my mentor and I did yesterday wasn't quite as straight-forward, matter-of-fact, done and dusted, as my protective conscious mind had led me to believe. And whilst I slept my subconsious was sorting itself out and releasing.

When I woke at 5am it was as if my subconscious and conscious minds violently clashed together. Where my subconscious mind had been busy clearing and releasing while I slept, albeit in quite a disturbing way, my conscious mind woke up to the memory of that and went into free-fall. Because suddenly I was feeling vulnerable, suddenly I was being reminded of a fear I used to carry around with me when I first started out on this life-path, suddenly I felt and experienced that fear in real-time again.

And it was overwhelming. So I cried and I cried to release the emotions and the fear.

I'm very fortunate that I have surrounded myself with a handful of mentors and friends who I can turn to when I need support and guidance. So after I got up and prepared myself, as best I could, for the day, I contacted my mentor for support. And I received the support I needed which, although today still remains a tough day, has helped me immensely.

So why share this?

I'm sharing this for a few reasons, to be honest.

First and foremost, I want you to realise that we all have tough days and it's okay to have a tough day. When those days come around it's important to honour and give space to your feelings and emotions. All too often we feel we have to put a brave face on and hide our true feelings on tough days like today, but hiding doesn't work. It only leads to burying emotions inside which can't stay buried forever and will eventual erupt in combination with all the other emotions that have been so diligently buried alongside it.

You might be thinking: "It's alright for Viv. She has her own business, she works the hours she chooses, she can afford to be gentle on herself and not put a brave face on when she's having a tough day. I can't. I have to show up at work, be pleasant and smile... every single day"

And I get it.

But here's the thing.

Who's the most important person in your life? Or, let me re-phrase that: Who should be the most important person in your life? It's you, right?

It's not your partner, it's not your boss, it's not your customer, it's you. So if you're having a tough day, who's feelings should you honour? Yours, right?

Now I'm not saying you should spend your day in the office being grumpy or overly emotional. What I'm saying is that when you're having a tough day, you need to show yourself more self-love than you would on other days. That may mean stepping out of the office every now and then for some fresh air. That may mean finding somewhere quiet to enjoy lunch by yourself. That may even mean choosing to postpone non-urgent meetings to another day.

It might surprise you how supportive and understanding people will be.

Another reason why I'm sharing this is that, for many business-owners and entrepreneurs, there's an unwritten agreement that you should be happy, positive, optimistic and grateful every single day. After all, you work for the best (or worst) boss possible (ie you). In either case you know how best to handle that boss. You have the privilege of working the hours you choose to work and even, perhaps, working from the comfort of your own home. You live the life that so many only dream about. So how could you ever have a tough day? Let alone share with others that you're having a tough day? Your clients, your readers, your fellow-entrepreneurs aren't meant to see your vulnerable, human side.

Right?

Wrong!

Entrepreneurs are human and when you signed the contract with the Universe to become a human, you signed up to relish the good things but you also signed up to experience the emotions, the roller-coaster rides as well.

So why hide it? Why be dishonest? Is it because you feel you should be super-human with only optimistic and positive emotions? Do you think that if you're honest and admit to having a tough day that people will harshly judge you or see you as a failure?

It might surprise you how supportive and understanding people will be.

So that's why I'm sharing this with you today. I'm sharing this to lift the dark veil that covers many of us.

The veil that we hide our true selves under for fear of rocking the boat, making others feel uncomfortable, allowing our human vulnerability to be on public display.

The veil that weighs down heavily on us and tricks us into believing that we should be dishonestly happy and cheerful everyday, keeping our true feelings hidden and denied.

When you next have a tough day, and let's be honest and transparent, we all have them, I invite you to honour yourself, respect yourself and be true to yourself.

Viv xx