the transformation from fear to freedom

The Greek Philosopher, Heraclitus, said, “Change is the only constant in life.”

Whilst this may, indeed, be the case, change tends not to travel on its own. All too often it’s accompanied by its steadfast companions, anxiety and uncertainty, which have the uncanny knack of stirring up deep-rooted fears, in particular the fear of failure and the fear of the unknown.

When these fears emerge, they keep us stuck in a state of resistance, preventing us from moving forward and embracing the opportunities that change can offer.

The thing is, change doesn’t have to be this dreaded dark shadow that hangs over you. When you shift your mindset, change can actually become a powerful tool for growth and self-discovery.

In order to change our mindset around change, from a fear-filled mindset to a growth mindset, it’s important to first appreciate the types of fears we associate with, and experience during, times of change. Once we understand the common types of fear which get in the way of us embracing change, we can then begin to alter our mindset and transform from perceiving change as something to be feared to experiencing change as something that brings us freedom.

I’ve already mentioned two of the most common fears in relation to change: the fear of failure and the fear of the unknown. Let’s explore them and other common fears so you can begin to shift your mindset towards one that no longer fears change, rather one that embraces change because of the opportunities it tends to bring with it.

Fear of Failure

Do you feel paralysed at the thought of failing in something? If you do, then take comfort in the knowledge that you’re not alone. However, that doesn’t mean to say that you, and everyone else who feels crippled at the thought of failing, are right to let it get between you and conquering change.

Most people worry that if they try something new and it doesn’t work out, they'll have wasted time, energy, money… and so on. Indeed, the idea of falling short often seems more painful than the consideration of never trying at all.

As a result, the fear of failure can lead us to avoid change altogether, even when it could be the best thing for us.

Fear of the Unknown

Would you happily and calmly walk down a pitch-black alleyway in the middle of the night, on your own, in a city that is not your home? Most of us wouldn’t because our minds have been trained since we were children to be afraid of the dark, to be afraid of what cannot be seen, to be afraid of what might be lurking in the shadows.

The fear of the unknown is like walking down that dark alleyway, alone, in the middle of the night, in a city you do not know. Indeed, it’s got to be one of the most daunting aspects of change.

Stepping into the unfamiliar territory that so often accompanies change is like walking down that alleyway; like walking into a void where we have little to no control and we cannot see the path ahead.

Because of this, the fear of the unknown keeps us clinging on to the familiar, staying stuck in our suffocating comfort zone, even when it may no longer serve us.

Fear of Losing Control

How often has change been thrust upon you and immediately you feel your world slip out of control? We are mostly creatures who relish in the concept, rightly or wrongly, of being in control because with control comes security, familiarity, safety.

When something happens that makes us feel that we are losing our sense of security, or that we may be overwhelmed by the unpredictability of the future, or that we are stepping into something that may bring with it risks and hazards, the fear we experience is often strong enough to leave us paralysed, unable to take the necessary action, indeed, avoiding taking that action.

Fear of Judgement

Have you ever considered changing something in your life yet have failed to take action because you were worried about what others might think?

Change in these circumstances tends to impact a major area of your life. For example, perhaps you’ve had a desire to follow your heart, leave your job, and do something different, something you love, something that lies outside the norm. Or perhaps you’ve been in a fruitless relationship for a long time, unhappy, unfulfilled, unsatisfied, however you come from a family with austere views on divorce, where the belief is that you marry for life, for better or worse; that happiness and fulfillment are not so high up in the priority list.

Have you ever thought about changing something major in your life and then balked? Why did you not follow through on your decision to change your life? Why did you choose to give up on a dream or happiness to stay where you are, unfulfilled, unhappy?

The answer lies in the fear of judgement. When we consider making a change that deviates from the norm, we often let the worry of what others will think, how others will perceive us, get in the way of our dreams and our happiness. Since childhood we’ve been taught and encouraged to blend in. Very few of us were encouraged to stand out from the crowd, to be who we truly wanted to be because doing so often attracts criticism, disapproval, ridicule. It’s always better and easier to simply blend in, to not rock the boat. And, yet, in doing so, through enabling the fear of judgement to make our choices for us, we avoid making bold choices in our life that could be transformative.

Now that you understand the most common fears that leave us desperately kicking and screaming as we are dragged towards the inevitability of change, how can we adjust and alter our mindset so we can transform from perceiving change as something to be feared to experiencing change as something that brings us freedom? Below are six actionable steps to support you in this transition.

Re-frame Failure as Feedback

Rather than fearing failure, why not begin viewing it as valuable feedback. When things don’t go as planned, don’t see it as a sign of personal inadequacy or failure, rather see it as an opportunity to learn, to grow, to develop – in other words, to change.

When faced with something that hasn’t gone to plan, ask yourself: “What can I learn from this?” and "What can I do differently next time?" When you re-frame failure and feedback, you can grow from every experience, rather than feeling discouraged or defeated.

Next time you experience a setback, feel you’ve let yourself down or that the outcome wasn’t what you had expected, wanted, or planned, take a moment to reflect on all that happened and why it may have happened the way it did. See it as a learning experience and celebrate the insights you gain from this learning process rather than simply focusing on the disappointing or unexpected outcome.

Embrace the Unknown with a Sense of Curiosity

When you are faced with change and focus on what might go wrong, it’s difficult not to dig your heels in and make every attempt to resist the pending change. However, when you shift your focus to what might go right, you start to perceive change as being full of potential, you ponder it from a place of curiosity.

When you view change as an adventure, some kind of magical mystery tour where you don’t need to have all the answers now, nor do you need to know the final destination or outcome, it attaches a lighter energy to change, making it something that you feel excited to explore.

Remember, it’s okay not to have all the answers now, it’s okay to take one step at a time, trusting that you’ll learn what you need along the way.

Next time you are faced with a pending change, rather than fear it and see it as a threat, ask yourself, “What new discovery shall I gain from this that I haven’t experienced before?” Focus on the excitement of learning something new, rather than being bogged down by fear of the unknown and uncertainty.

Kick Perfectionism to the Kerb

Fear of failure and fear of the unknown often stem from a desire for perfection because you are drilled into believing that you need to get everything right from the outset. The truth is, however, that perfectionism is actually holding you back because it makes you afraid to take any calculated risks or try new things.

By shifting your mindset, you can release the need to be perfect and allow yourself the freedom to make mistakes and “fall forward”, the concept of giving yourself permission to make mistakes from which you can learn and grow.

Next time you are faced with change, challenge the belief that you have to have everything figured out before taking action. Rather, aim for small, consistent steps forward and focus on progress rather than perfectionism.

Change the Question

In the face of change it is all too easy to feel overwhelmed and adopt an “I can’t” mentality which will stop you in your tracks before you even get started. By becoming curious and fostering a problem-solving mindset of “How can I?” you’ll find that you can better step towards change with an inquiring attitude rather than an attitude of fear.

By simply changing the question, you shift your mindset to one that embraces creativity, adaptability, flexibility, and one that is open to trying new possibilities.

Next time change comes knocking on the door and you find yourself saying, “I can’t”, pause for a moment and better ask yourself, “How can I?” and see how that alters your outlook and your attitude, see how more empowering that question feels and how it encourages you to seek out solutions and be more proactive.

Practice Self-Compassion

It’s so much easier to show compassion to others than it is to ourselves. When things go wrong, when we struggle with challenges such as change, when we don’t live up to our own expectations, most of us will turn on ourselves, berate ourselves, criticise and slate ourselves; most of us will say things, out loud or in our head, that are so cruel we would never say them to another person.

When having to navigate change in your life, remind yourself that it’s okay not to have all the answers, not to have everything figured out from the outset. Be kind to yourself throughout the process, encourage yourself, speak kindly to yourself as you would your best friend, and celebrate all your efforts, even when things don’t go perfectly.

Self-compassion helps you stay grounded and resilient in the face of change.

The fear of failure, the fear of the unknown, the fear of losing control, and the fear of judgement… they can be powerful forces that keep us stuck. However, they don’t have to control our lives. When you choose to embrace change with curiosity, compassion, and a willingness to learn, you open yourself up to new opportunities that can lead to personal transformation.

So, remember, next time change comes knocking at your door, don’t view it as something to be feared rather see it as something to embrace. With the right mindset, change can become the catalyst for a brighter, more fulfilling future.