how do you choose?

How do you choose which products or services you buy?

How much more would you appreciate buying from a business, person or brand that actively encourages you to fall back in love with the amazing soul you already are, than a business, person or brand that zeros in on your insecurities, heightens your fears, points out your negativities, and then turns around and asks you to buy their product or service because it contains some magic formula that will correct and erase all the negative points they just spent time and effort highlighting to you, whether they actually exist or not?

I know which I’d prefer and yet so often we’re giving our money to the businesses, people and brands that knock us down in order to sell us something that will supposedly make us better or happier, in some way or other.

Why not buy from businesses that want to sell us something that will make us feel better and healthier without feeling the need to knock us down first?

Let’s put some numbers to a scenario so we can get a real feel for this new concept of marketing and selling.

I'm going to use the skincare industry in my example here as in a prior life I owned a skincare brand so I know many of the less-than-desirable 'tricks of the trade'. But this doesn't mean that the skincare industry is the only or the worst industry. Sadly, this type of marketing has become the norm in all businesses, both large and small.

Getting back to my example. Suppose you’re walking down the street and on a scale of happiness/contentment you’re feeling like a 6 out of 10. You meet someone standing outside a shop and they want you to try a product so you go in. When you enter the shop they feel your hand and tell you that your skin’s pretty rough and not as soft or smooth as it could/should be. How are you feeling now? You’re feeling a 3 or even a 2, right? And then you try the product and, yes, your skin does feel smoother as a result so you decide to buy it. Now how do you feel? About a 6, probably… right back to where you were before you came into contact with the representative of this brand. Hmmmm…

Well, let’s fast-forward a bit. The following week you’re walking down the street and, again, on the scale of happiness/contentment you’re feeling like a 6 out of 10. You pass by a shop with a sign saying “Can you see how beautiful you already are?” You’re intrigued so you walk inside and are greeted by a friendly shop assistant who asks if she can help you in anyway, if there’s a product you would like to try. Maybe something for your hands? She reaches for a jar, containing exactly the same ingredients in the product you had tried the week before, and places a little product on your hands without making any comments about your hands or your skin. And you try the product and feel that your hands are smoother or softer as a result so you decide to buy it. How do you feel as you leave the shop? About an 8 or even a 9, I’m guessing.

And so you should.

There is a common belief that in order to get customers to buy businesses need to, first, hone in on their insecurities or highlight negativities (or, worse, introduce them to a insecurities and negativities they were totally unaware of!). I see this type of marketing and selling everywhere I look and I just don’t get it.

Why do businesses, of all shapes and sizes, believe they need to laser-focus on the negatives and pain-points in order to sell their product or service?

Does it not make more sense that, if you're offering a good product or service, a customer will naturally feel much better and more positive after they’ve tried/bought your product or service? Better than they felt before they were introduced to your product or service?

Shouldn’t the aim of every business and brand be to make their customers feel like a 9 or 10 after they’ve tried/bought their products or services, rather than knocking them down and then only raising them back up to where they were anyway?

Isn’t that selling from a place of love?

And isn’t that selling so everyone in the transaction benefits?

I believe so.

And that’s why I cannot get my head around why businesses, marketers, brands etc are all still staying stuck and still knocking down customers in order to get them to buy.

And I, honestly, don’t and won’t buy into it anymore. And nor should you.

It’s our time. It’s our time to stand up and demand respect for the amazing souls we already are.

Now don't get me wrong, I appreciate that that’s easier said than done when we’re, unsurprisingly, full of insecurities and self-doubt after years of listening to a media touting our imperfections.

So what should you do? What can you do?

Well my advice is to spend a couple of minutes each and every single day falling a little bit more in love with yourself. Each and every morning, as soon as you get up, before you brush your hair, shower or put on makeup, I invite you to stand in front of the mirror and say to yourself “I love you”. I know…. It sounds totally bonkers and a whole load of codswaddle, but I can assure you it works.

Here’s what’ll happen.

For the first few days you feel like a total idiot and you simply won’t believe the words that are being uttered out of your mouth. No doubt you’ll even be tempted to move a bit closer to the mirror to see if that really is a new spot on your chin or whether you’ve grown another wrinkle overnight.

But persistence is the key.

Keep looking in the mirror, look yourself in the eye, and tell yourself “I love you” and I guarantee that before too long you will smile, you’ll start to believe and agree that standing before you is a fabulous soul, and… you will fall back in love with yourself.

And as you fall back in love with yourself, as your self-esteem and self-confidence grow and flourish as a direct result, you'll begin to see which businesses are truly selling their products and services from a place of love and you'll choose to buy from them. Because having a business knock you down in order to build you back up is disrespectful and, when you love yourself, it's simply something that you will (or should) no longer accept.

Viv xx