it's okay to say no

Several years ago, when I first began to offer angel and oracle card readings, I had to dig deep.

Although I had already moved away from my prior career as an Accountant to start my own business, this latest move wasn’t a pivotal move. It was a ‘full erase and start over again’ move into a completely different field and area.

And that meant starting from scratch. The contacts I had made working in corporate, the client-base I had built based off my prior skincare business, most of them I simply couldn’t carry across to a spiritual based and spiritual focused business.

Although I already had experience building a client-base around a physical product, I was now beginning anew, building a client-base around a service. And, if you’ve ever been in such a position, you’ll know that takes time, effort, and patience.

Not to mention I had also moved on to live in a new and different country, leaving behind the network I had spent years building. And, as the saying goes, "out of sight, out of mind". Not only did I lose a lot of my prior clients and network because I have moved away, I lost them because I was making a radical change in my life and business.

And, so, I found myself back at square one, starting all over again.

As I’ve already mentioned, a major part of walking a new path, of starting a new business is the need to build up a solid client base. And that takes time and effort. For me, personally, this meant working on my visibility issues, my need to be liked and accepted, and building up my self-confidence and self-esteem; challenges that have been forever present throughout my life.

Asides from that, when you build a client-base it also really helps to offer something that will draw your ideal clients to you, that will give them a taste of you. After a few different strategies that didn’t quite gather momentum, I decided to offer a free 1-question remote oracle card reading. Although it’s not something I would (now) encourage anyone to do, at the time it worked for me and got the ball rolling. Before too long, I was collecting email addresses in exchange for providing a short 1-card recorded reading.

Initially, it felt like a bit of a game-changer as it gave potential clients the opportunity to experience what I offered in the most gentle and loving way, especially if they'd never experienced an oracle card reading and were feeling a bit nervous and apprehensive.

Unfortunately, however, I soon discovered that a gift that is given freely is not always perceived as valuable. Indeed, it’s rarely perceived in such a way.

That’s something I have witnessed, having given a lot of myself for free in the past, and something I’ll admit to feeling myself – when I download a freebie, I rarely look at it, I rarely value it as I should, or as the person who took the time and made the effort to create it, would like. Hence the reason why, nowadays, I am very careful about what I do give for free.

At the time, however, my free offer of a 1-question remote recorded reading captured the attention of one specific person.

She signed up for her free card reading in exchange for giving me her email address which I added to my email list, and shortly after joining my list she responded to an email I sent out inviting her to share a current struggle with me. My idea was that, to honour someone for taking the time to reply to that email, open up and share with me, I'd give a short free 1-card reading. And so, within a matter of days, I sent her another free reading (it should come as no surprise that I no longer offer this either).

A day or so after I'd sent her her second free reading, she asked if she could receive guidance on a specific area of her life. In other words, she was asking for another (a third) free reading.

I have to admit, I felt a bit perturbed by the request because the guidance she was looking for was very similar to the second reading I had sent her. So, I advised her of this. However, in return she only came back saying she would prefer guidance on her current issue and the specific (new) question she had sent.

Whether it was the people-pleaser inside of me (I am now a recovering people-pleaser) or my lack of self-esteem that rose to the surface (which I have since devoted much healing to), I gave her some guidance through email support, not through an oracle card reading, although I did consult the angels for help and guidance. However, this wasn't enough for her.

A few days later I received an email which showed her true colours. Her email was very short, but not necessarily sweet. It read: "Hey! When can I have a free reading?"

It was then that I realised that this wasn't the kind of person I wanted around me, energetically or in any other way. I knew that I had to make it clear to her, in the most loving way, that pestering me for free readings was not acceptable. So, I did the kindest (and cowardice) thing I could do and pointed her to my website where she could choose and book a paid angel card reading of her choice.

After that I heard nothing. She promptly unsubscribed and disappeared.

I know this all sounds a bit like a she-said-I-said kind of tit-for-tat blogpost and that's not the kind of energy I want to create or have around me. However, I've felt the need to share this experience in the hope that you can benefit and learn from it too.

Not only should you be very careful what you offer freely, it’s important to acknowledge that we're not here to serve and heal everyone who walks across our path. And nor should we be.

Sadly, there are some people who live their life taking from others, giving nothing in return. And the type of healing and service I, and many other souls, offer, can never benefit people like that because they simply don't see, feel, appreciate or understand the guidance and healing I offer through the angels. So, my readings will never touch or heal them in the way they touch and heal so many other lovely souls. And I'm here to touch and heal as many souls as I can; souls who will benefit from what I offer.

In hindsight I know I should have nipped this situation in the bud much sooner. And rather than take the softly-softly don't-want-to-rock-the-boat low-self-esteem coward's option of directing her to my paid services and trusting this would encourage her to disappear, I should have approached the situation with confidence in myself, confidence in what I offer, confidence in the knowing that she epitomised the very type of person I do not want to work with or serve. I should have simply said "No". Because it's okay to say no.

You and I are not here to touch, heal, impact every living soul on this planet. We're here to touch, heal, serve the ones who value, need, and will benefit from what we have to offer. The ones who, in turn, will touch, heal and serve others who cross their own life-path. And that's okay. That's how we fulfil our life's purpose. That's how we should journey along our life path. And, ultimately, that's how we create a better and more loving world.